Keep On Keeping On.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how blessed vocationally I am. That is a complete 180 from where I was only a month ago. A month ago, I thought there was no hope for me to get out of the dead end job that I was trapped in.

I absolutely HATED that job.

It was a year after I graduated college and I had just moved back from living with a friend in Iowa. I had no prospects of finding a job with my degree. You see, I graduated with a Bachelor of General Studies. In my head, that was a failure. It didn't matter that I had a degree. It was a glorified high school diploma in my eyes. I actually hung the degree in a cheap frame above my toilet for quite a while. But there was a job opening at the factory my dad's girlfriend worked at. It was good money and it was only temporary summer help. 11 years later, I was STILL there. And I can't even describe you how MISERABLE I was.

But for many years I didn't even attempt to leave. I was punishing myself.

For what?

For failing.

I had so many dreams. In high school, I wanted to be a lawyer or work for David Letterman. In fact, I was well on my way to do just that. I was accepted to my two top schools Loyola University (my choice for pre-law) in Chicago and Ball State University (my choice for radio/tv/film production) in Muncie.

I chose Ball State. That the first of many choices that led me on a path to my failure.

I always have daydreams about how might things have been if I had decided to go to Loyola instead of Ball State. At the time, it was the most practical decision. I would leave college with less than 20 grand of debt instead of over 100 grand of debt. I wouldn't have to go to school for as long. 4 years and done. Then I would get a job at a television station and move my way up to the Late Show with David Letterman. After all, Ball State is his Alma Mater.

PIPE DREAMS.

I was a hopeful youth. But life and myself got in the way of those dreams coming true.

When I would hear young people dream big, I think..."HA! Good luck with that!" But there is a big part of me who is really JEALOUS of their ability to start afresh. What I would have given to be able to START OVER?

So a month ago, I accepted a position at Hoosier Crane as an inside sales rep. It wasn't my dream. But it's not the factory I was dying in either. I am happy. I am actually happier than I have been in a VERY long time. I stop believing that my worth came from what I did, who I was with, and what I looked like.

I found my worth in Christ.

Now I hear other people talk about how much they hate their jobs, and my heart hurts for them. I know how that feels. I WAS THERE.

To those people...

I know how you feel.

I am praying for you.